With the highly anticipated and much needed renovations to the restroom facilities, once named the worst in Central Texas, BISD has announced a silent auction to be held Thursday, August 3rd. Custodian Paul Sanderson told the Examiner that while some of the fixtures had to go straight to the garbage, others were just fine and would make a delightful conversation piece in the home. In addition, a few storage rooms were cleaned out and countless memorabilia from nearly 40 years of football at Gordon Wood were uncovered. We’ve got a list of some of the items.
1979 bathtub/urinal – hung during the 1980 district championship game. Has been urinated in by Morris Southall, Spyke Dykes, Bill Parcells and many more. Starting bid $10,000
Hand dryer – legend has it that this hand dryer was installed when then Cen-Tex stadium opened and ceased working a few months later but it remained for health code purposes. Many a confused out-of-towner pushed, punched, mashed, and cursed the inoperable device. Manufactured by San Jamar Industries. Starting bid $7.69
1954 paper towel dispenser – moved to Gordon Wood Stadium from Old Lion Stadium in 1993. Hasn’t worked since 2009. Has supplied paper towels to 87 fans who washed their hands between 1954 and 2009. Manufactured by Griff-Ho. Starting bid $20
Assorted urinal cakes – blue, yellow, and pink. have lost their smell, having been stored next to the giant oil can full of liquid nacho cheese. Starting bid $35 per case, $3 per cake.
Archival Bulletin staff photo of Steve Freeman and W.T. Stapler standing in line to use the facilities.
Description; “This stately photo, circa the mid to late 1990s shows former coach W.T. Stapler and his contemporary, Steve Freeman, annoyed in the queue outside of the restroom. While partially obscured by an anonymous genetleman’s shoulder, one can clearly see Stapler physically pinching it off to prevent disaster as the line progresses much like molasses rolling down Bangs hill on the one day it freezes every winter.” Starting bid $5
A 2016-2017 HPU Football program, great reading to coax the turds out of anyone. Free to first visitor.
The rest of the Gojo liquid soap left in the outgoing dispenser, poured into a festive mason jar. Starting bid $7
‘Miracle Fiber’ insulation. It’s not asbestos, we swear. Starting bid $3
Crate of one ply toilet paper – the new superintendent has demanded we buy Cottonelle in the future, so we have several industrial sized rolls of 1-ply. Get the hemorrhoid inducing experience of a halftime show trip to the loo from the comfort of your own home! Starting bid $12.50
A sink autographed by Carl Wayne. Don’t try to clean the sink, or you’ll wipe the autograph away. Starting bid $500
Men’s Loafers – We aren’t sure how they came to be in the supply closet, or who in their right mind would take their shoes off in the restroom, but someone did. Size 9. Starting bid $2.04
A flask from the visitor side restroom, most likely from a Snyder fan. Empty. Starting bid $4
A mop handle that one of the Southall boys touched at old Lions Stadium. Unsure which Southall boy. Starting bid $17
An autographed Harriet Graves photo. Starting bid $23
200 Copenhagen lids. Someone might want them. Starting bid $3