Brownwood ISD’s unique plans to pay for new scoreboard

After heated debate and public backlash, Brownwood ISD has announced that they still intend on spending half a million dollars on a new scoreboard, but the majority of costs will be recouped. How? Sources close to BISD tell us that a new vocational program will help. Students in 7th-12th grade metal shop will be ‘leased’ to Diamond P Enterprises where they will learn valuable on the job training skills, while Diamond P will save money and have less paid staff on the books. “I can’t wait to run a bead and get paid for it!” said 8th grader Mike Thompson. When informed that this was an unpaid internship, students vowed to switch to wood shop, not knowing that the district has a similar agreement with Waldrip Construction.

Another move to save money is “Early Release Thursdays”. All district schools will close at 10am, saving on electricity, as well as the cost of preparing cafeteria meals and the hourly wages of the staff.

School bus service will be discontinued and students who require a bus are asked to call City and Rural Rides.

One more particular and bizarre effort to raise funds for the scoreboard was divulged. Assistant to the superintendent Jim Bob Tucker-Jones announced plans to have advertising and sponsorships on the scoreboard. Jones mentioned that he, as well as several other board trustees and community partners prefer restaurant advertising. “I’d rather stare at food on the big screen than watch the Lions win any day.” Tucker-Jones went on to state that “quick service and fast food eateries are the only sectors not shrinking in the Brownwood economy and are poised for further growth. I’d really like a Luby’s..”

The new scoreboard isn’t the only coming addition to Taco Casa Stadium at Gordon Wood Stadium. A freight elevator will be installed at low costs to bring the stadium into ADA compliance. Patrons will be allowed to ride the elevator rather than take the stairs for a small $4 fee, or a $78 dollar season pass. “We have a lot of old people who have to walk up and down the narrow stairways 8 or 9 times a game to go to the restroom. We think they’ll want to buy the season pass, but we’re ok with them paying $4 a trip too.

Retrofitting the stadium will also result in the removal of guardrails, because they were found to be high in lead and not compliant. When asked if this was a clever ploy to force more people to use the freight elevator, Tucker-Jones just grinned and returned to daydreaming about the Cotton Patch Cafe, Chili’s, and Taco Casa.

Early ISD stated that they plan to save money by simply being terrible at football for another year or two.

Below is an updated rendering of the new scoreboard.

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