Children in most U.S. cities spend July 11th each year sipping on a free slurpee from 7/11, but that’s not the case in Brownwood. Brownwood area 7/11s have chosen to opt out of the free slurpee program this year. “It’s too liberal of an idea to give free things away,” said district manager Mary Jones. “If we give away free slurpees, we have to charge more for gas or cigarettes to offset the cost.”
Just as Arlington is known as the largest U.S. city lacking public transportation, Brownwood is now thought to be the largest U.S. city lacking free slurpees on July 11th.
Local vagrant Raul Reynaldo stated he gets free things from 7/11 all the time. In fact, he’s gotten so many deals that he’s not allowed on the property of any area 7/11. “They call it criminal trespassing but I think they are afraid. I can smell fear. Hold on a second, distract the clerk, I gotta swipe a Steel Reserve.”
Renaldo had been banned from the 7/11 when it was a Skinny’s, a Circle K, and when it first opened as a Colonial. Reynaldo hopes that opting out of free slurpee day forces the store to change hands once more, “ideally I’d like to see Allsups take over, but Stripes would be nice too.”