King of Camelot

Apartment complexes are an interesting place, with each unit having its own dynamics, culture, and ethos. Camelot Apartments is no different. Smitty Smitherman, resident of Apartment 301A, has declared himself to be king, and asks all other residents to gently bow and refer to him as “Lord”

Smitherman was last seen digging a ditch in the rain, hoping to perfect his moat during the flooding.

While this seems VERY odd to the vast majority of residents, the property management team not only supports Smitherman’s ascension to the crown, but actively support his moat building. “It always flooded right around there” said area custodian James Mason, who asked to be unnamed in this report. “If anything, that crazy old coot is doing my job for me and I don’t even have to rent a ditch witch!”

Smitherman agreed to talk to us, or, in his words, “grant an audience to thine paper”. Smitherman stated that he likes to think of himself as a protector of the lands. “Lo, I come to my subjects with benevolence and grace. I have thine royal cats who chase away the mice, and much work has been done by thou hands to remediate the mold situation in 301A, vile invaders!” Pausing for a moment to eat what we only assume was a giant turkey leg, Smitherman continued. “Hark, has thou not heard of the Bangs Dragon? We must all prepare, and thy castle must be secure if it comes for me!”

satire

 

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