Goldthwaite, the Reich choice?

Goldthwaite has long been known for goats, too few passing lanes, and being a speed trap on the way to Austin or Waco. However, recent information has been uncovered that might link the small hill country town to fascism.  No, Donald Trump isn’t coming to town, but he might after he reads this article.

Historical records show that Goldthwaite was once a “Sundown Town”, according to noted sociologist James Loewen. A “Sundown Town” by definition is a form of segregation, in which a town, city, or neighborhood in the United States was purposely all-white, excluding people of other races. These restrictions were enforced by some combination of discriminatory local laws, intimidation, and violence. The term came from signs that were posted stating that people of color had to leave the town by sundown.  According to Loewen’s database on sundown towns, there was once a sign at the courthouse forbidding persons of color from town. Today, less than 0.39% of the population identifies as African-American in Goldthwaite. Another visitor to Loewen’s site stated “The person who told me the story that Goldthwaite was a sundown town was a African-American student taking classes in the Recreation Program (HPER Department) at Howard Payne University in Brownwood, TX, I believe in 1988/89. This African-American student about age 20 or so told me he had a tire go flat as he was driving through Goldthwaite on his return home (I believe going to Brownwood), but he just kept on going on the flat tire because he was told they use to have a sign up at the City Limit of Goldthwaite that said something like “No Blacks after Sundown”, and he was fearful to stop because of the towns reputation even though there was no sign now. “

And then there’s the logo of the town’s newspaper.. I mean, c’mon.. do we REALLY have to point this out?

Seriously..
Seriously..

Furthermore,  Spanish goats used to be the main breed raised for meat before being overtaken by the South African Boer goat. The Boer has all but exterminated Spanish goats from pastures of West Central Texas.  While this may simply be due to the Boer producing more meat, it is worth noting that Boer goats first became popular during the Apartheid era in South Africa, where segregation was both defacto and legal.

Schwartz is a surname of German origin, meaning "black" (modern spelling in German is "schwarz"). It was originally a nickname for someone with black hair or a dark complexion. As you can see, nobody cares to fix the sign.
Schwartz is a surname of German origin, meaning “black” (modern spelling in German is “schwarz”). It was originally a nickname for someone with black hair or a dark complexion. As you can see, nobody cares to fix the sign.

Further research shows the gratuitous use of air quotes in local media headlines, such as “Africanized “Killer” Bees Attack Man in Mills County, Texas”, or “Rashad moved to town”, a 8 part series on Goldthwaite’s shock and dismay when 27-year-old Rashad Washington briefly lived in Mills County.  The Goldthwaite Economic Development Corporation is also no stranger to veiled sentiments, stating  “Come and find out the true meaning of “quality of life” by visiting Goldthwaite today. We are here to help you become part of our “best kept secret.” Goldthwaite is also a commonly discussed topic on Stormfront.org, a white nationalist, white supremacist and neo-Nazi Internet message forum, notable for being the first major hate website. Have a gander at Mills County’s most wanted, if you need any more proof.

Rumors that the wind turbines were erected to “make the air in town smell less like  Hearts of Love hairdressing mingled with asafoetida, snuff, Hoyt’s Cologne, Brown’s Mule, peppermint, and lilac talcum” have not been substantiated, though we at the Examiner do love the fact our anonymous tipster included Harper Lee.

satire

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