Unprecedented spring rains in Texas have caused the Gulf of Mexico to swell to never before seen levels. Authorities predict that the gulf will in fact top its spillway for the first time since being built several million years ago. Coastal flooding could impact all coastal areas of Texas as well as Louisiana and Mexico south to the Yucatan Peninsula.
Local emergency responders as well as research professors specializing in hydrology from Brownwood area universities are traveling to the Texas coast this weekend to help conduct and execute water rescues. One local professor blamed the scenario on the state, not mother mature. “It’s those damn hydrologists” stated Harold Misu, associate professor at Ranger School of Cosmetology. “If they didn’t let the rivers drain into the Gulf, we would be fine.”
Misu was commenting on the fact that Texas’ rivers are sending historic amounts of water in to the Gulf of Mexico. “We should have a place to put all of that water. I mean, at the beauty school we have buckets we catch rain water in, why can’t everyone have one of those?”
One possible solution for the flooding, according to Misu, would be to send excess Gulf waters to drought stricken California. “It’d have a lot of salt in it, but who really cares what those liberals drink if it’ll keep them from coming here!”
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