The votes are in, and Bangs Hill has been named the most popular spot for local teens to conceive a child. Over the past several weeks, polls have been conducted at all seven Brown County high schools. Teens voting for Bangs Hill attributed its popularity for conception being that it, “overlooks the lights of Brownwood at night,” and that makes it, “a very romantic place.” Bangs Hill was especially popular among the Brownwood and Bangs students.
Coming in in second place was the Heartland Mall parking lot. The mall parking lot was especially popular with Early and Blanket teens. Teens choosing to conceive in the Heartland Mall parking lot mentioned that they preferred it over Bangs Hill as there are typically less people at the mall to catch them. A Heartland Mall employee agreed to speak to the Examiner on condition of anonymity. The employee stated that it’s well known that kids participate in explicit activities at all hours in their parking lot. “The way we look at it, it’s better than them going off and doing meth like they do in Comanche County.”
Two of the smaller, outlying schools seemed to favor procreating in pastures following a game of cow pie flying, a popular frisbee like game among the teens in Zephyr and Brookesmith. Cow tipping was also a favorite game to play prior to the activities of the evening.
The votes from May were tossed out due to the students not knowing how to fill out their ballot. Half of the male populace stated passionately that “Dez caught the ball. That was a good conception.” Others thought that conception was the name of the new Hispanic student.
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