A Monday Double-dose; O Dollar Store and Deck the Walls!

The Examiner will be posting several localized versions of your favourite Christmas songs and poems as we approach Christmas Day.

Today, we bring you two songs filled with the most cheer you can buy for a buck, with our renditions of “O Christmas Tree” and “Deck the Halls”

O Dollar Store

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O Dollar Store! O Dollar Store!
Thy deals are so appealing;
O Dollar Store! O Dollar Store!
Thy deals are so appealing;
We buy things here, but just a few,
Nobody ups our revenue.
O Dollar Store! O Dollar Store!
Thy deals are so appealing;

O Dollar Store! O Dollar Store!
So many good locations;
O Dollar Store! O Dollar Store!
So many good locations;
A CDP, and Brownwood’s new
Now Early wants to have one too
O Dollar Store! O Dollar Store!
So many good locations;

O Dollar Store! O Dollar Store!
Generic brands mean savings;
O Dollar Store! O Dollar Store!
Generic brands mean savings;
Fake Nutella, fake Golden Grahams
I think I saw fake Christmas hams
O Dollar Store! O Dollar Store!
Generic brands mean savings

*CDP refers to census designated place, as Lake Brownwood has a Dollar Store but isn’t an incorporated community.
*There is a new Dollar General under construction on Austin Avenue, hence “Brownwood’s New”

Deck the Walls

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Deck the walls with wanted suspects,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Tis the season to re-elect,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Don we now kevlar apparel,
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
Let’s stay safe and free from peril,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Serve the papers, search the abode,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Stop! Don’t flush that down the commode.
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Same old cases, same old places,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Look at all those methed out faces,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Lock them in the county jail,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Wait a few days, they post bail,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Sealed Indictments, and Grand Juries
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Send them off with utter fury,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

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