BREAKING NEWS – Hazmat teams called to Dale Street

In late breaking news, a loyal Examiner reader has sent us the following photos. State authorities in biocontainment suits have been spotted around Howard Payne University. A portion of Second Street that runs parallel to the Nabers Tennis Center has been barricaded, and scanner traffic has gone encrypted on area radio repeaters.

We had heard several unsubstantiated reports regarding this incident. Remember, these are unsubstantiated.

  • A ‘super-meth’ lab accident occured in the blight of Dale Street aerosolizing hallucinogenic compounds
  • A ‘shelter-in-place’ order being issued for Howard Payne, because a Qu’ran was found on University property.
  • A stray cat with Ebola.
  • A massive bedbug infestation at the old Ledbetter Mattress building
  • Area agencies conducting emergency drills
  • Someone kidnapped the jukebox from the Crazy Lemon, and it was found mutilated on the HPU practice field.
  • Dale Street is becoming sentient and trying to escape town, possibly to relocate to Coleman.

When we find out more, we won’t let you know. Due to the police presense, these photos were smuggled out and were taken under duress. We apologize for the lack of clarity, but hope you’ll understand the extreme risk our brave reader took in forwarding them to us.





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