Local man plans to renounce his American citizenship to get job with Loadcraft

They say that a simple act of defiance can be revolutionary in scope. Jimbo McGregor doesn’t see it that way. He just wants a job. After graduating from the TSTC Welding school and spending several months fruitlessly seeking gainful employment, he finally decided that enough was enough. While he’s applied for a job at Loadcraft 6 times already, they never call him back, or so he claims. When news broke that Loadcraft would be hiring Mexican Nationals through the H1-B Visa Waiver program, McGregor had an idea. He would renounce his American citizenship, move to Mexico, and be hired from Mexico.

“Well, it finally penetrated my thick skull..” stated McGregor. “…The fact that housing will be included on-site was the tipping point. Sure, I might make a little less money this way, but I won’t have to pay rent, which is a good 40% of my check anyhow. Plus, I won’t have be forced to watch Dancing With The Stars ever again. I’m happy for that.” McGregor plans to visit his wife once a month on weekends, and spend two weeks with her every summer. He calls it “Spousal Custody” and claims that it’s for the best. “I don’t want her to blame herself, but after reading about that man from Zephyr who had his manhood stolen, it really is the best option.”

McGregor, who does not hold a passport, plans to sneak into the state of Coahuila and work odd jobs in Piedras Negras until he can learn to speak Spanish, hire a lawyer, attain Mexican Citizenship, lobby for a fast-track worker visa, and return to Brownwood with gainful employment. So far, McGregor claims that he can more or less tolerate Johnny Canales Y Los Huracanes del Norte, which he insists should be a valid reason to expedite the process. The only potential setback, according to McGregor, is the fact that his Netflix account will not work in Mexico and he may be forced to watch Sabado Gigante.

satire

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