Bigfoot Sighting Reported at Lake Brownwood

Bigfoot stories are abuzz in the North Lake Brownwood community of Tamarack Mountain after resident Jimmy Bob Jones claims to have seen the beast foraging in the live oak trees on the corner of his property. “He done come across the southwest corner of my yard chasing after some deer, but I didn’t get it half as bad as my neighbors next door.”

Jones was referencing what happened to Willie Joe Johnson next door. “That thing done run so fast through his property it tore up his fence and I heard a loud bang noise. I guess when them things is hungry it really chases after them deer.” Jones went to inspect what the loud noise was that he had heard, only to find that the beast had caused severe damage to Johnson’s residence. “I run over there and seen that his trailer house had falled over off its cinder blocks.” Jones primary concern was the welfare of Johnson’s mother, who uses a wheelchair to get around. “Last time his house falled over, the front door was open and momma Johnson just rolled right out the door and on to the yard. It took us a week to find one of her pink fuzzy slippers. It’s a wonder she didn’t break nothin.”

This is the first report of a Bigfoot sighting in the Tamarack Mountain area, and Jones provided a detailed description for authorities. “When I seen it it look like it got to be about 7 feet tall, hair all over, and it run fast, really fast.”

As for the Johnson house, neighbors rallied together to pick the house back up using a wench and a 1979 Ford pick-up truck with a camper shell. “This ain’t the first time this baby has had to pick up one of our houses after it falled off its cinder blocks, and it won’t be the last.”

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