Local Man Admits to Shopping at Wal-Mart, Local Support Group Formed

Local resident Luther Day has admitted that he shops at Wal-Mart.  “Like everyone else, I denied it publicly for years.  I repeated the mantra ‘Oh I hateWal-Mart.  I only go there if I just have to.’  But the truth is, I shop there every day of the week and twice on Sunday.  Unless the Dallas…

Weekly Local High School and College Football Picks

Brownwood by 7 over Gatesville: One state poll (we won’t say who) has Gatesville favored to beat Brownwood by 5, but we think otherwise. Brownwood gave up 469 points last season in 11 games, a school record for the most points ever surrendered in a season by Brownwood High School. In comparison, the 1965 Brownwood…

Richland Springs ISD to offer computers for students

Thanks to a large grant, students in Richland Springs returned to class with a big surprise, a computer for each student! According to IT director Darrel Theobald, the shrinking district had to do something to boost transfer enrolments.  “Well, Brownwood had a contract with Apple and we couldn’t really justify the costs, and other school…

Unarmed Caucasian Male pulled over by police on Friday

An unarmed Caucasian male was pulled over Friday evening by a white officer on US 67. Caucasian activists are calling it a targeted hate crime, and rioting is expected all next week. Brown County Caucasian activist leader Jonathon Hayes summed up the traffic stop best, “What we have here is a clear sign of hate,…

Snake Found at Brownwood Park

Brownwood resident Lupe Villarosa found what appeared to be a snake at a Brownwood park on Sunday afternoon, “it (the snake) was just creeping through the grass like it belonged here, but I knew it didn’t belong here,” said Villarosa. Villarosa had taken his family for a bbq picnic at the park when one of his…

Brown County Football Schedules

For once, this is not a satirical piece. Brownwood: 8/29 vs Gatesville 9/5 vs Graham 9/12 @Liberty Hill 9/19 vs Alvarado 9/26 @ Burkburnett 10/3 @ Springtown 10/10 vs Stephenville 10/17 @ Abilene Wylie 10/24 Open 10/31 vs Snyder 11/7 @ Big Spring Bangs: 8/29 @ Ballinger 9/5 vs Llano 9/12 vs Goldthwaite 9/19 @…

New tobacco lounge to open near Park Plaza Shopping Center

Smoker’s Palace, a new lounge for those who still smoke cigarettes, is set to open in the fall. Proprietor Nigel Pike promises a safe environment catering to the lifestyle of the Brown County smoker to relax in and “not be bullied by those neer-do-wells who say you can’t smoke in a public place anymore.” The…

Brownwood Lions Prepare for Season with Tough Scrimmage

On Friday, the Brownwood Lions football team will make the 9 mile trip west to Bangs where they will scrimmage the Bangs Dragons and the Comanche Indians in a ménage à trois type format. The scrimmage should certainly prove a mighty challenge for the Lions, and we commend Coach Howard for setting up such tough scrimmage opponents….

Early High Football Team Beats itself in Inter-squad Scimmage

Early High School didn’t wait long to get its first victory of the season as the school wrapped up practice on Wednesday with an inter-squad scrimmage. The purple team defeated the gold team by a score of 1 touchdown to 0.  Early football fan Quade John Smith stated that in his 27 years of watching…

The Examiner goes to the Dump(s)

Brownwood has seen many changes throughout history, but one change most people don’t think of is refuse. Prior to 1969, landfills were not required to be sanitary and were simply mountains of trash, often set on fire. The smell was awful, the disease vectors were high, and several once-thriving neighbourhoods never recovered from the environmental…

Brownwood Urinal awarded “Worst in Central Texas”

A dubious honor that likely won’t receive a statue, a plaque, or much public recognition has become known to us today. The Examiner has learned that Gordon Wood Stadium’s restroom was voted “Worst Urinal in Central Texas” by the “Gridiron Guys” forum, a civic minded organization that prides itself on being good sports and proper…

City of Brownwood arrested on multiple drug charges

Following leads gathered during the “Operation Tangled Web” sting, the City of Brownwood has been arrested on multiple charges, from possession of a dangerous drug to conspiracy to commit a felony, possession of marijuana, possession of tobacco by a minor, loitering, habitual jaywalking, and countless failures to yield, amongst other pending charges. The City looks…