The City of Comanche finds itself as the latest casualty in the war path of the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office that commenced earlier this year when they also revoked the NFL’s Washington Redskins Trademark. Shortly after it was announced that the Redskins trademark would be revoked, the department decided to undergo a review of all similarly named patents and or trademarks. For the last month and a half Comanche City Council was aware that this change might occur but thought such fears might have been unwarranted, since no announcement had been made that specifically mentioned the city. “ A review of this scale from US Patent and Trademark Office typically is very short and swift, but frankly they didn’t even remember that a trademark was issued to such a small forgettable city. Since that particular Trademark was issued in 1858, it was still written on the back of an index card located in a wooden storage box in their basement next to trademarks issued to the first mason jars.” explained Trademark Attorney Samual Peca.
“With these vital trademark protections no longer present for the city of Comanche, the city is considering the few options it has to secure the future of what could soon be considered “ the city formerly known as an indian slur.” “What most people don’t understand is that without trademark protections any kid off the street can just start producing merchandise with the city’s name freely and without fear of an impending seize and desist letter and eventual lawsuit. These seize and desist letters keep many of us attorneys in business but really are just a way to scare the crap out of some people and now we can’t send those out if some punk kid uses our city’s fair name in vain. This mean T-shirts, Coffee mugs, matted stadium seats, and light beers with the City’s name on it that don’t have to pay valuable taxes to the city for using the name. “ Attorney Peca Continued. These fears seemed to be validated as reports on local Vent pages surfaced of teenagers already exploiting the city by printing Comanche shirts to sell around surrounding areas due to the attractiveness of the price point. As of the run of this article, nursing home residents from Brownwood to Abilene to Cross Plains were seen sporting their newly purchased non-trademarked Comanche Indians T-shirts. This reporter estimates that the Comanche Indians are now the fan favorites in the 75 to 88 age demographics around the region estimated solely by the amount of merchandise from that team this demographic owns. City Council members are expected to come up with a resolution in the weeks to follow as the city continues to hemorrhage tax revenue and are expected to propose several options but the most likely proposition would involve a change in name. The Examiner has exclusively obtained a list of the more likely options and why counsel members believe them to be good for the future of the city.
• City of Co Man – Not to be confused with Coleman. Existing businesses would be able to retain most of the already existing lettering and dynamite the “Che” at the end at little to no cost as dynamite is readily available in this area.
• City of Comanshe – Shows how big of a part women have been in the making this city what it is, from the first brothel to the first hair salon.
• City of Apache –We learned our lesson the first time, we’re named after the helicopter not another Indian Tribe.
• City of Blanket – City of Blanket is close enough to our city where cartographers don’t have to rename their maps and Blanket is more forgettable than us.
• Arrow Head City – We’re not racist, we just really like Indian artifacts.
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